Faith & Fitness Journey - Day 17

​So I started this weight loss journey back in May and fell off completely and started back up early September. In doing this journey I promised to be as transparent as possible; even when I don’t feel like it; so that I’m being true to myself and that all may see that this is normal 😂🫠 anyway here goes 😆 …

NOTE: I am faaaaaar from where I want to be, but I’m not giving up this time. Through out this journey what I’ve learned the most is that if I keep holding off the next day & the next day, & the next day, &the next day (yes I’m that person 😂) I’ll just keep piling on weight that I don’t want or need. I needed a change, I needed a purpose, & I needed a motive. I HAD TO FIND MY WHY?! I’ve tried losing weight for years and always found myself back at square 1, I would lose all the weight I wanted off, & then slowly gain it all back and end up right back at where I started lol .. this time I needed something that is life changing, something that Will ground me to be committed & keep pushing through even if I ate a cheat meal in the day, it’s okay, just get back up & keep going. I needed this to become a lifestyle. So I really prayed over this. I suddenly had the urge to want to somehow incorporate God into my journey. And there it was! My purpose, My motive, My why! & so far He’s helped me to keep pushing even when I felt like giving up. This is how my Journey transformed to Faith & Fitness 🥰 .. I’m only 17 days in with this one but I’m happy with the small results! Because it’s showing that what I’m doing is working, I just need to keep pushing and be more consistent! 

“A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.”

“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭6‬:‭19‬-‭20‬ ‭

These verses is why I choose to be healthy and try my best to stay consistent! My why became for the glory of God 🙌🏼♥️. With the drive I have I honestly cannot wait to see what I’d look like in a year from today! 😂 this is me speaking it into existence lmbo! Letsssss gooo!! 

“So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭10‬:‭31‬ ‭

Lean Not On Your Own Understanding 💚

​At some point in life; you realize what truly matters and what doesn’t. How people were brought into your life for a reason and don’t stay for as long as you want them to. You start to see a purpose and why you’re placed exactly where you are in life today. There will be times where everything may seem unclear but with time, it will all make sense to you. A verse that my late sis-inlove quoted to me all the time. 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path” 

Proverbs 3:4-5

Is the verse that I’ve always loved growing up but never truly understood it until my sis Cilla would always talk to me about it when I share my life experiences with her; so this verse has stood with me for a while, many times I found myself not agreeing to circumstances I faced in life; so many signs to let go of things or people, that I didn’t agree to and refused to accept.. I’ve been a person that always leaned on my own understanding when ever I didn’t agree to things that life threw upon me. Trying to force relationships to last, force a job to be a career when clearly it truly wasn’t, try to force a friendship when clearly it failed many times. If not forced I gave it many chances only for it to fail all over again. God has shown me so many signs in life that I refused to accept and at the end of it all, I always found myself fallen to my feet or curled up in tears crying out to God for his healing over my pain. 

I always wondered how God would speak to people when they would share such stories of them hearing Gods calling; or them knowing that it was all Gods doings; I always found that so hard to comprehend.. up until one day I’ve chosen to completely surrender to Him and trust in Him. To finally not lean on my own understanding but to trust in Gods plans for me. It was then where I realized and discovered that what would have ripped me apart and have me fall into a deep depression? No longer had that control over me. I found a new sense of happiness; a happiness I never realized I’ve been longing for. A happiness I never really understood. The happiness of Gods everlasting Love♥️ For me and everyone! Slowly but surely everything I wished to have had slowly fell into place as I continued to accept His plans for me; some parts weren’t easy to accept for myself but was a blessing for others; and some parts were more than a blessing and more than I could ever ask for. Gods timing seemed perfect in so many ways through this experience that who am I to even question what happens next? I don’t even care to lean on my own understanding for the most part because I know it will just crumble and fail lol and leave me broken. Today I stand here with career ahead of me, a roof over my head, clothing on my back, food on the table, a huge family for support, a much stronger relationship with God; and most of all, Gods unconditional love that covers me every day of my life. 

I am only human and prone to the sinful ways of this world, but I hope to become stronger in my faith and walk with God as time goes by. With that being said … As my late sis inlaw Cilla would say .. Choose Love Always 💚 Fly High My Sis thank you for being a vessel to Gods love and a great example to us all! This one’s for you! 

God Is Love ♥️

A photo I came across on Instagram; this is what my life has been the past 5 months♥️

SOMETIMES BEING ALONE IS A GOOD THING; A WAY TO REFLECT ON LIFE AND YOUR PURPOSE HERE ON EARTH; OVER THESE MONTHS I’VE LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT MYSELF; ONE THING I’VE LEARNED IS THAT I’VE BEEN A PERSON THAT’S BEEN HARD TO LOVE; BECAUSE I’VE BEEN SEARCHING TO BE LOVED PERFECTLY AND UNCONDITIONALLY BY SOMEONE IN THE FLESH; WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE; I’VE LEARNED THAT NO ONE CAN LOVE ME PERFECTLY SOMETIMES BEING ALONE IS A GOOD THING; A WAY TO REFLECT ON LIFE AND YOUR PURPOSE HERE ON EARTH; OVER THESE MONTHS I’VE LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT MYSELF; ONE THING I’VE LEARNED IS THAT I’VE BEEN A PERSON THAT’S BEEN HARD TO LOVE; BECAUSE I’VE BEEN SEARCHING TO BE LOVED PERFECTLY AND UNCONDITIONALLY BY SOMEONE IN THE FLESH; WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE; I’VE LEARNED THAT NO ONE CAN LOVE ME PERFECTLY BUT GOD ♥️ AND IT’S IN HIM I FIND MY PEACE AND SANITY 
💯 GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS; HIS EVERLASTING LOVE ♥️ FOR GOD IS LOVE ‼️ BUT GOD ♥️ AND IT’S IN HIM I FIND MY PEACE AND SANITY 
💯 GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS; HIS EVERLASTING LOVE ♥️ FOR GOD IS LOVE ‼️

Discovering Self Love ♥️

 I wish i knew of self love growing up; but.... better Late than never right? ; heres to living my best life & creating my own happiness; to be able to say that I am comfortable & I feel fabulous in my own skin; no matter what size I am? is the ultimate goal!! & I’m on the right path! 

Society and social media has made us view ourselves as a product; & I was trying to lose weight for all the wrong reasons in the past 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️; “to just fit in” or to get them likes 🙄🙄 lol; or to just be accepted by people that doesnt even care about me lol 🤷🏻‍♀️ periodt!  Your loved ones and REAL ones accept you AS YOU ARE! & that’s all that truly matters! 

I’m not gonna lie 🤷🏻‍♀️ at some point in life; I wanted a BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift) 🥴🤦🏻‍♀️🤣 LoL!! But who in the world has that much money to go under a knife that could possibly work out for the best and put you in excruciating pain during recovery with great end results but doesn’t change how you truly feel inside of being accepted for what you were? better yet, it could possibly kill you too 🤷🏻‍♀️ as it’s stated to be one of the most deadliest surgery out there 😳 … yeah not me lol; that will only change my outside but my insides? (except the fat lol) will still remain! My mental state doesn’t change; my knowledge of knowing that imma be accepted now because I got a BBL will f%#* it all up for me in the head 🥴🤣… and I’m just speaking for myself lol everyone is different, but I know myself and if i wanna be accepted? I wanna be accepted for who I truly am and what I stand for! 

Gods blessed me with this imperfect body to some; but its PERFECTLY MADE for Me! & I’m embracing it no matter what size I am ☺️; with this Fupa and all its glory 👀😬☺️😍🥰 and you don’t need to like me or like my body; that’s not your job; I LOVE ME & that’s all that really matters at this point ☺️ I’m telling y’all!!! practicing self love? IS EVERYTHING !! I highly recommend it to anyone out there! Who’s struggling in self confidence & believing that YOU ARE PERFECTLY SCULPTED & MADE AS YOU WERE MEANT TO BE; YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!  It not only helps your confidence levels? but it also helps with your mental health! It took a while for me to get in this mind set; I’ve picked up weight being out here in Vegas; but it doesn’t make me feel any more less than I did when I had lost it back at Home in Hawaii 🤷🏻‍♀️ because it’s simple 🤷🏻‍♀️☺️ I can always lose it again🥰 .. that’s the joy of it all ☺️. I love my body and all my flaws that I come with; not just my appearance but everything I’m about! To be acceptive of YOURSELF and to absolutely Love who you are and who you represent and stand for?! Is what will break this generational curse of society’s up bringing on the media. Find your PEACE and BALANCE in life & ACCEPT and  LOVE who YOU truly are ☺️ Life can’t get any better than this! ☺️ I promise 🥰#FindingMolly #howsmackiegetshergrooveback 

Not Your "IDEAL" girl

I'm everything you dont want in your "ideal" girl
But everything you will need in this corrupted world..

You see? I may be far from the "perfect" wifey you dreamt about having,

Everyday you will discover a new DISLIKE of your perference, yet still hold on to me; times passing

And everyday while you're contemplating; drifting on the unaffirmitive things?

I'm falling harder than I should; waiting for this episode to get interesting....

I see you pointing out the negatives, they bruise a bit...

I hear you complain bout my actions and decisions, they scorch a bit..

How ironic is it ? That when you push me away?

All I ever wanna do is ....stay? 

While you're there sitting in confusion, I'm here in a bliss of assertion?

You see, I find it easy to give in to you; as if I've got nothing to lose?..

With no caution of  heartache or sorrow and be left with a bruise?

I've seen many signs of relationship failure...

But continue to believe that there's still room for the better..

Could love be blind in this situation; like Eve's track?

or could love be bruised from it's past, hesitating to accept such facts..

facts that I can assure you, these scars are possible to mend?

the towels ready to be thrown in; yet giving up i mustn't; it's not what I intend,

for I see no direction to eternity...but a detour into unsustanity...
Yet there's hope deep down inside of me,
 

cause my faith in "us"; is as small as a mustard seed,

if that much faith can move a mountain from here to there?

it should be able to move a wounded soul in need of care..

or a bruised up heart awaiting to spare...

I'm not your "ideal" girl,
 but I pray I could change things with this faith I have instored.
I just need you to accept me for who I am and be ready to explore,
Promise not to bite, nore to disappoint you once more,
but to show you I'm not the girl from your past, but your future Mi Amour;
Yeah, I'm not your ideal girl;
 but I'm a million times better than the last slutty whore; (LOL!)
that bruised you to the muthafuckin' core,
I'm now left with pieces to glue together;
but hold on to me tight; for I'll show you what I can do better,
just put your trust in me and I promise not to fail;
but open your eyes to a new life; just like them books of a fairytale ..
auuu muli! haha; k dat is all :) LMAO
 

Are the feelings mutual?

Are the feelings mutual?
Where I can't stand to go a day, without texting or talking to you?
Are the feelings mutual?
Where I can't believe to have such fond feelings for a person I never laid eyes upon?
Do you feel it too?
Are the feelings mutual?
Where the littlest compliments you say could trigger a switch that turns my grey skies blue,
Sleepless nights over the phone for hours into the early crisp of morning dew,
Conversations flowing like the never ending river that leads to ecstasy;
Leaving me breathless with a heart warming feeling questioning, is this all really true?
Are you feeling this too?
Where a little bad mouth towards me generates a pain I never knew?
Can you feel that too?
Are the feelings mutual?
Where I never hear a word from you all day, wondering what to do?
To manage these withdrawals of your existence till that routine'd call comes through?
Are these feelings mutual?
When I check my phone to see a text or call from you,
Butterflies dance in my tummy like the never ending story being read to a tune?
Have you felt that too?
Where every cartilage in my entire body jumps with excitement at the site of you,
Yearning for you the feel of your skin against mine all night through?
Are these feelings mutual?

I sit here contemplating about the first day we met,
bickering, and arguments; leaving each other upset,
never have i thought it would come to this,
a jacked up friendship, blossomed into BFF's ,
now, you mean more to me, than just a friend to diss, (LOL!)
a million times more than from the day you mentioned about your ex, (haha)
The care that I have for you has gone off the walls,
just a note of you not feeling well had me on wearisome calls;
worried to pieces wishing I could be there;
in any possible way; to help you to get better,
Are these feelings mutual?
Do you feel that too?
or shall turn around and make a u turn and come back at noon?
Our friendship; it means more to me than you'll ever know,
Layin' me out on a bed filled with dreams and hopes of whats to follow;
Not a chance would I dare to ruin what we already have,
but this I must confess; before it gets out of hand,
I'm falling and hoping to get caught before I hit rock bottom,
If the arms of the one to catch me are absent? like a bad call of Texas holdem?
All in with no back up; shattered to pieces when a lost is discovered;
At least I know to stand; and search for another table; recovered ;
for life is full of little surprises and never shall I expect a thing or two from it,
but to learn and to move forward as this was yet another facet.
Do you feel that too?
Are the feelings mutual?
I will never know; for I never had the chance to shine his shoe! 

LMAO!

R I S K Y ♥

Scramblin for the right words to say to you,
But each time I attempt, a tinge of pain hits me, oh boy, I'm such a fool,
What am I tryin to do here? Knowing the consequences it'll lead to?
A heartache to mend once more, or a fairytale pled true.
Is this even a risk worth takin? a friendship worth breakin?
Left with the thoughts, we shoulda coulda woulda in the makin;
No! I beg to differ; I'm not about that flakin,
Lifes about taking chances so why not start this bakin?
Least to say, I'll know it was worth the shot or another heart achin'

So come here baby and let me show you what I can do,
Have you breakfast in bed; and your shoe shined new;
Take a stroll with me, down the beach in the noon;
Splashin water, runnin wild into the sunset blue;
Head back to my place, oh this is something new!
Now watch me, baby, work my body upon every inch of you;
From the tip of yo head, down to the soles of your shoe;
You don't have to do anything at all, I'll do all the work that's due;
tempting you to take lead, not a chance; or you'll catch the flu
I'm not kidding; I'll curse you and have those balls turned blue;

(LOL!)

BOOM! You just got hit where your hearts been shaken;
Thank you for your time sir, now please get the steppin;
Cause this girls gon' back to square one, for another risk in the makin'

PEACE! I'm out LMAO!!! haha